No More Booklikes, BYE

I wish I never “Touched” it.

I waded through extreme simile hell to get to the end. The blatant similarity to Twilight. They don’t makes boots high enough for me not to get soiled in this muck.
What is with these 5 star reviews ? This is the worst writing I’ve read in a long time. Every page seemed to have at least two similes, and most were so ridiculous.
“….his heartbeat raced like a pacemaker gone haywire.”
“…like a ghost that had to come to haunt him, and decided to go back inside.”
“… their conversation continued to buzz around in my head like a pesky fly.”
“loneliness like a valiant knight.”
“..like a termite boring its way into wood.”
Deep breath—-
Okay let’s talk about the idiotic nick names, Squirrelicue, Wild Thing, Pet… AUGH ! Was this supposed to be clever ?
Flat uninteresting characters, ridiculous lines, idiotic story line, overuse of words, similes and Arguh, it was just awful.

I was asked by the author to review her book, which had mostly 5 star reviews ?